Showing posts with label failures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failures. Show all posts

Monday, March 4, 2013

Road Movie: Symbolism and Compromises

On my Journal pages I haven’t yet placed any post fully dedicated to the band I play with – Road Movie. I am doing it today because I feel it is time to provide some report on the work done.

Wikipedia gives the following introductory sentence to the "road movie" article: “A road movie is a film genre in which the main characters leave home to travel from place to place, typically altering the perspective from their everyday lives”. Our life is the path that we go, ride, or fly by, or by the side of which we sit, licking our wounds and gathering strengths to move forward. You can get off the road, you can get on it; after all, one might not know about it at all, but the road exists anyway. The road is a symbol of life, which had started somewhere and will end somewhere, but this life would be incomplete without a traveler making his way along that road.

In the summer of 2012 I reached a crossroad, had some thoughts on which way to go, chose the direction and took a turn. I jumped into a car passing by. Soon after that I understood that I had just joined a rock band from Yerevan called “Road Movie”: Henry was driving, sitting to the right was Mesrop, and also in the cabin there was David, who was absorbed by reading a book.

While learning the old songs musicians become familiar with each other at a level that is higher than just a teamwork. First of all, they should become a collective. This process is not that easy. Difficulties, frustrations, distractions – everything tries to keep the progressive component, but with due diligence there comes a certain feeling at some point that I find it difficult to describe now: whether the instruments start sound better, or the musicians begin to reveal their hidden abilities, or altogether. As a result, the band play proves to be fun, and hours spent in rehearsal do not seem lost already. Old songs begin to sound in a new way, and new ones emerge on top of that.

How is a new song being born? Perhaps it happens differently in different cases: it could be a melody heard in a dream or accidentally played on an instrument, or some rhythmical sequence of words, or something like that, other than a song requested to be written on such-a-subject in such-a-genre with such-an-emotional mood or ideological overtones. This is about a point where the two worlds touch each other: in one of them we do exist and in the the other – our music. By working hard and long we approach the boundary of these two worlds and at some moment begin to grope IT there, beyond our understanding. Each of us gropes for his own thread and begins to pull, and then we weave a new canvas. It is a compromise between the readiness for perpetual work and the quality of the result. And so, “Don't Wait” was born.

At the end of November, we were booked to play in a short series of concerts. As the result, we came to something our road kept for us at this stage – to yet another compromise. We had to discuss with our sax player the possibility of joint continuation of our musical activities. His busy schedule did not allow (allowed not) to spend time in a rock band. The conversation was friendly and quite adequate, and after that it was clear that the Road Movie band is now a trio. There is a symbolism on which I am not going to spread now. Going further.

It was at this time when we came up with the idea of starting The Clubbing tour. It was decided to play in as many clubs that could provide some definite conditions and, of course, give us some financial return, as possible. The more gigs we play – the more experience we get, and different clubs introduce us to a wider and different audience. But in order to play for "different audience" we had to come to another compromise – addition of many cover songs to our repertoire, which was previously avoided by Road Movie in every way. Because of this motley contemporary repertoire we faced the task of working up such track lists that would allow us to identify both the strengths and weaknesses of all the components of an event: teamwork, energy, mood of the audience, room acoustics, equipment, performance. We even experimented with interchanging the responsibility for compiling up the track listing within the band members. In some of the clubs we played twice, but used different approaches. Some set lists had been prepared in a couple of days, others – the minutes before we hit the stage.

The audience at our shows always plays its important role. In addition to the applause, cheers and smiles, our audience provides us with the necessary feedback. It is often due to the people in the audience, both one-time and permanent comers, that we hit upon something that gives us all the reasons to believe that our efforts have not gone in vain.

Speaking of symbolism, I can figure out some examples of its manifestation at the level of word play. However, I am doing it just for fun, because a true symbolism might have not yet fully appeared, or we have not yet noticed it.
  • Having decided to buy a Fender bass guitar I was trying for a long time to find the right option of buying it abroad and shipping it to Armenia. All of them seemed impractical. The idea had almost extinguished when in the middle of autumn the official representative of Fender in Armenia started working in our city, leaving me with just a task of choosing the right model. Fender Precision Bass was purchased on 12/12/12.
  • Speaking of The Clubbing Tour we said "we are clubbing" – a play on words in Russian, indicating the swirling smoke or cloud. Usually we do not see how this process starts, and also cannot know how it should end. The same can be said regarding the Road.
  • We referred to adding the cover songs to our set lists saying "we shake the old days." Here is the crossing of the timing aspect of the term, pointing to an old approach of maintaining the existence of the local groups (when performing covers drowned a band and its identity got lost), and the semantic aspect (adding cover songs to the repertoire of Road Movie).
  • Speaking about the short interval between concerts in Stop Club-e and Calumet, I wrote in some of my Facebook posts "From the frying pan into the... Calumet", but it was only the next day when I realized that Trndez national holyday was celebrated the day before, during which people jump through a burning fire, and the opening song in Calumet on that night was a Deep Purple song called "Into the Fire". (in Russian, Calumet sounds similar to "полымя", which concludes the Russian analogue of the mentioned saying - "Из огня да в полымя").
  • On one of our concert photos, we are caught with our Fender guitar necks crossed. Speaking of the future adventures instead of saying "fingers crossed" we say "Fenders crossed".
  • On the poster from the concert dedicated to the 70th Anniversary of George Harrison, the listed performing band's name is “The Kings' CrossRoad Movie”, which consisted of the members of The Kings' Cross and Road Movie bands. The intersection of these groups can also be seen in the fusion of words “Cross” and “Road”, forming the word "crossroad".
  • Track list of that tribute concert ended up with the song "All Things Must Pass", which was consonant with the end of the concert and the end of our tour. Also, on this night my heavy bass guitar pick broke.
What should go next? The answer to this question is in the way. It all depends in which direction and at what speed we are on our common Road today. Unequivocal is that this stage has been passed. Spring came. We start thinking about visiting the studio, we are sifting the performed cover songs through a fine sieve, we are reincarnating the old songs into new forms. But we do believe that the most important thing is that having found new strengths, we are coming back to work on our new material that has accumulated and is waiting for each of us to grope for his thread and to start weaving it into our common canvas.

Hardly could I call those last three months of winter, during which we were clubbing, crazy – all that happened was quite reasonable and understandable. And even though I was able to fit this story about them onto a couple of pages, all remains for us equally an inexplicable and a mysterious experience of the passage of our Road.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Lost years

During passed week I happened to play three times, the first one being a serenade to a bride, next was John Lennon Tribute, and yesterday I did a short set with the band I am currently involved in - Road Movie. Maybe some pictures/videos will be added later on, but that is not that important to me. What IS is the fact that I feel I got back to what has been left down six years ago - public life. I even bought some equipment for my guitars, and intended to do more, as well as trying to upgrade my instrument to a higher level (unfortunately, I can't afford buying a good instrument now).
What I am thinking of is to try to reach some level of being able to create something, by myself. They say it is possible, what I need is a strong wish to do it. I am not sure if it is enough, but let's try.

I also became an inventor of some stupid theory that if a person creates anything in his/her 20's, then in 30's s/he will be improving it, and so on in 40's, 50's; however, if 20's are ruined, then 30's will be a decade of payback for ruining it, in order to make it possible to create something in 40's and later on.

20 years went lost....

Yesterday I toasted my friends with the following words: "Are you still believe in me?!"

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Observations

If a man earns less than enough:
  • he is reminded from time to time that he has to work more
  • his point of view is not guaranteed to be accepted at all, even if it is correct
  • if he adds more to the due sum, it is accepted as norm, but more to be given
  • if he does something for himself - he is a squanderer
  • wild idea proposed - he is boring
  • whatever he does at home - he must do it; if he doesn't do something - he has swelled his head
  • his points of view and tastes are the ones that should be reproached or hated 
  • even once gone wrong it will be remembered until the end, and referred to when needed
  • his descendants are of a lower priority among the equals
If a man earns more than enough:
  • he serves a good example for the others
  • his point of view will be accepted as a "great advise", be it correct or not
  • if he adds more to the due sum, it is being put on the flag and waved until the next addition
  • if he does something for himself - he must care for himself as well, mustn't he?
  • wild idea proposed - he is interesting
  • whatever he does - others must do it too; whatever he doesn't - he is not ought to do everything
  • his points of view and tastes are the ones that should be respected or followed, or, well, left unmentioned
  • he can't go wrong - everything can be justified
  • his descendants are of a higher priority
 What if a man could earn just enough?

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Life Milestones

Are there any absolute, common for all age milestones on our life timeline? I think many people reflect in that direction. I fell there is something of that kind, and that I have passed two of those milestones.

The First Milestone.... Although probably our first milestone was someplace there, at a very young age, but we do not realise that consciously, and infants do not need that vanity at all. OK, my first milestone is 21. When I turned 21 I felt some incredible lift-up. I thought I could do everything I would want, any kind of undertaking. I found my future wife in that age and introduced my girlfriend to my family (believe me, all of those who knew me by that time were in shock). Over the years, growing older and meeting failures I started thinking that one can achieved nothing in his life at all, if started later than when he is 21.

The Second Milestone - 40. It has been more that 6 months since I celebrated my 40th birthday, so here is what I happened to collect of what I feel.
- desire to live in an absolutely white (walls) room, with minimum of items around (a computer table with a wheeled armchair, a TV set, audio/video players, obligatory shelves for my discs), no curtains, no pictures, no chandeliers....
- my teeth somehow began causing me troubles
- I want to get rid of useless items, and have sold several discs and "The Beatles - Anthology" book already
- I get so tired quite soon
- either the lack of practice (I don't remember already when it was that I went out of our home in the evening) or anything different, but I experience problems while singing (I start feeling discomfort in my nasopharynx)
- after I come home from walking anywhere other than "to work and back" I feel very tired
- when I am sleepy (both at home and at work) I put everything aside and sleep
- my old fears became my advisers
- many of what I accepted earlier is being criticized now
- the feeling of lifelongness of punishment for my life failures much amplified, it now does not imply any hope to get some feeling of forgiveness in this life, and after - it does not troubles me somehow (there should be something that I already lost due to my failures)
- if nothing has been created by me over a day, I can feel it dying in my hands
- I decided to start blogging

There should be something more, but I do not remember now. I do not force anything to stay in my head if I do not need that.

What next?

P.S. Here is another interest: could it be that when we were infants we were shown some key images from our future, remembered them at subconscious level, and now, when we follow our life paths and check with those milestones by means of deja-vu phenomenon, we wonder "this already happened in the past!"?

Added on April 28, 2012.

Meanwhile, I keep on remembering some details.
- my already-not-such-high speed of playing strategic games became even worse
- I no longer love bright sunlight and hot days
- success and achievements in different areas do not bring me joy, but fade when Sun goes down

Full circle is about to close, and it becomes so hard living endearment-less....